Not the Ending Just Yet
by BelikovCullen
Summary: Sequel to 'What Happened To My Happy Ending' so go read that first if you havent yet.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, so this is not what I had in mind for this story but oh well it's a blizzard out there and our governor Mr. Patrick decided to declare a state of emergency and ban on traffic so that means my ass is stuck inside the house without the possibility of going anywhere and what better to do than spend my time writing. This is what I came up with, have to warn you though in the end of this chapter I cried… never before had I carried while writing, a tear here or there but never the full blown snot and tears… maybe you won't but I did so be warned.

Oh and this a sequel so if you haven't read 'What the hell happened to my happy ending' go read it and as always I live off your reviews so feel free to tell me what you think of this.

Enjoy.

Not the Ending Just Yet

I wanted so bad to just open my eyes and see my baby's face, Dimitri's face, shit even Lissa would do right about now. But all this darkness was becoming annoying really. It felt like forever since I had seen any kind of light, but sound on the other hand… sound had been my constant companion since my world had gone dark.

At first they were just jumbled sounds, but as time went on they became clear and I could pick out voices. I heard Alberta's pleas for me to be okay, and that she would trade places with me if only I'd open my eyes. Or Vick telling me she loves me, oh my baby. The one thing I couldn't feel however was Lissa, even as I reached out to her I couldn't feel her… the bond was gone.

"Rose," Viktoria called out to me. "Oh Rose thank God I was beginning to panic," I felt her shake me, not that that was going to do any good since Dimitri had tried that some time earlier.

"Oh Rose please open your eyes, I'm all alone here," she insisted. So for the umpteenth time I tried to open my eyes and this time I succeeded, the light was blinding at first and it took me several blinks to adjust but I was ecstatic to finally be able to open my eyes and see my baby girl and Dimitri and Christian and wait, Where had everybody gone?

"Rose what is happening to us?" I spun around to face Vika. "I hear them, Christian, Dimka, even the Doctor. Where are they?"

"I… I don't know," my main thought was to panic but Vika was pregnant and I had this overprotective feeling over her so I needed to stay calm.

"Breath Vika, think of the baby," she did as I asked.

"Where are we Rose? Are we dead?" a tear dropped down her face.

"Well in the rare times I listened at church I think I heard something about there not being any tears on the other side so I think it's safe to say that we aren't dead yet," I reassured her.

"We are in the spirit world," suddenly Lissa was standing to my right.

"So we are dead!" Vika was close to hyperventilating.

"Not yet, but the longer you stay the less of a chance you have of getting back," there was resolve and resent in her voice.

"How do we go back?" I asked.

"It's simple really," she shrugged.

"Why do you hate us?" Vika snapped at Lisa.

"I don't hate you, I don't even know you," Lissa looked offended.

"But you hate Rose, I've been informed of all the shit you put her through," Vika huffed.

"Lissa just tell us how to get back please, let this be one decent thing you do in the name of the friendship we had," I begged her.

"Well, first you have to want to go back," she shrugged.

"It can't be that simple," Vika scoffed at the idea.

"It is, if you are here before your time, all you have to do to go back is want it because if you don't want to go back you may also stay and wait for your time to move on… but the longer you stay here the less of a chance you have of going back," Lissa was speaking so matter-of-factly that something told me that something wasn't right with her.

"I want to go back, I want to go back and tell Christian about our baby and oh," Vika rant was cut short and suddenly she was gone.

"She's back, now your turn," Lissa turned to face me.

"What about you?" and a tight pang in my heart answered for me.

"I can't go back Rose," and with those words a big fat tear escaped her eyelid.

"Why not? Vika just went, we'll go together," she couldn't stay here, I wasn't ready to forgive her but neither was I ready to let her go.

"The amount of spirit I used to keep you guys alive was too much, I no longer have a connection to my body, haven't had it since I blacked out," she lowered her head, a sense of deep sadness overpowered me almost as if the bond was back and I could feel what she was feeling.

"You saved my daughter, why?" I needed to know.

"I have a daughter too Rose, and if it came down to it you would save her life, go back Rose you don't have that much time," it was weird talking to Lisa like this after so long.

"I would save her, but Lisa there's got to be a way to take you back with me, I hear them you know… Adrian wants you back; your daughter needs you back and…" but my voice trailed off.

"Do you want me back Rose?" she asked.

Shit. What does one say at a time like this?

Dimitri's P.O.V

Ever since I woke up yesterday I had only left Rose's bedside to shower and use the bathroom, and even though they insisted I would not go anywhere to eat. If… no not if, when Rose opened her eyes I was going to be right here! My sister had come to relieve me and Chris but neither of us was going anywhere, even though Vika was mainly out of danger Christian refused to leave her side and that only made me like him more, I knew my sister was safe with him, and so was her baby.

The silence in this room was only broken by the beeping of monitors that told us they were alive.

"Daddy, I want geel cheese," Vick sat up rubbing her eyes.

"Auntie Lina will be here soon, she can take you," as awful as that was I had been ignoring my baby since I had woken up.

"Please daddy," she looked at me with big pleading eyes and my neglect of her just slapped me in the face, her mother in a coma and all she had was me.

"Come here," I said as I gently removed her from under the sheets that had covered her and her mother. "Let's go get you some grilled cheese," I would be her father. Bending down I kissed Rose's still lips, "Come back to us Rose, we need you," I begged her, hoping she was in there and actually heard me.

"Christian," he nodded in acknowledgment and I left with my angel to get her some grilled cheese, a part of my heart broke to leave Rose but I also needed to care for my baby girl.

"Daddy, when is mommy going to wake up? I need her to play with me and make my booboos better," the sadness in her voice broke what was left of my heart.

"I'm sorry baby, daddy doesn't know when mommy will wake up," 'Oh Rose wake up, I don't know how to do this.'

I was in a boat with no paddles; I had no idea how to be a father. It was one thing to spend the day with her while Rose was off doing something but to be the sole parent was something else altogether.

One step at a time Dmitri, and step one was grilled cheese.

Rose's P.O.V

'Come back to us Rose, we need you,' I heard him call me. Dimitri, my Dimitri was calling to me.

"That's just what I thought," Lissa sighed after my long silence.

"Look Lissa there is just so much I have to say to you and yet none of it seems to matter now, for some selfish reason you took Dimitri from me and essentially from his own child. A child whom you later kidnapped, you hurt Christian, and all for what? Please, tell me," I urged.

"Darkness," was all she said.

"Really? You are going to use that on me," I snapped.

"You of all people should know how all-consuming darkness can be, and as I tried to hold it back from you it consumed me, it wasn't until a year or so after you left me that Adrian came back with answers as to how he and I could keep it under control," she looked me in the eyes and truth shone through them.

"I'm sorry Rose for all I put you through, but I'm not sorry for taking Vicktoria. I needed you here-

"Don't you mean they needed me here," I interrupted her.

"No, I needed you here. I needed to fix all my wrongs, I've know this was going to happen for a while, you see I had my cards read when I found out I was pregnant… I wanted to know if my baby was going to be okay and ended up finding out more than I bargained for.

You don't have to forgive me and I don't have time to explain it all to you but I'm sure if you talk to Adrian he'll be able to explain, he cares greatly for you as do I, just promise me you'll watch out for my child if at all possible."

"Look Lissa, I hated you… for a couple of months I hated you, and at sometimes I felt great dislike towards you but you were my best friend, my sister and that is not something easily forgotten. No I can't say we would be friends again if you came back with me, yes I believe darkness helped you do those things but never once did I let darkness corrupt me against you," in all those times I pictured me and Lissa having this conversation none of them involved one of us not being alive.

"I wish things were different, I wish I could go back and do things differently but I can't, and my time with you is up… go back Rose, tell them to turn off the machines that are keeping my body alive… I'll always be with you, I'll always watch over you."

What no, not yet. I had more questions, shit. But none of it came to mind.

'Forgive her lil' Dhampir,' Adrian's voice whispered in my ear.

"I forgive you Lissa," and oddly enough I did forgive her. Unexpectedly she threw herself at me and hugged me tight.

"I love you Rose," she sobbed.

"I missed you Lis, I missed this," I let my arms hold on to her a little tighter.

"Go now, don't worry about me, I'll be with my family… go be with yours."

"Bye," and she disappeared as darkness once again surrounded me.

A/N: Sorry about the long wait guys… let me know if you are still out there and if you are going to review as a guest just leave me your name so I can properly thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys I know that this chapter is a little confusing but essential for how this story plans out… plus I went over the first story and picked up on something I abso-fucking-lutely hate when people do… and that is unexplained lapses in time. I wanted Rose pregnant but notice that I inserted their first sexual encounter after my 1 month later thing so there's no way for me to explain Rose being almost two months pregnant if she woke up only like three weeks after the fight.

Enjoy.

There are always two sides to a coin

Rose's P.O.V

Suddenly I was sitting in a room, somewhere fancy; the furniture was expensive and most definitely belonged to a Royal. When Lisa came into the room I readied myself for an argument or some form of interaction, but none came.

Instead she walked in with a purpose and a belly… a very pregnant belly. She had a notebook in her land as she took a seat at the writing desk she rubbed her belly and whispered words I couldn't quite hear.

As she started to write I thought maybe I'd get a peek at what she was writing.

_My name is Vasilisa Dragomir, I'm a Moroi princess. My last name is one of the twelve royal names, only said last names are allowed to run for throne, normally the oldest of the family takes that title but in my case I had to take it at a very early age, I only got that title because my whole family is dead… I'm the last Dragomir. Ever since the accident me and Rose were all each other had; well Rose has family but honestly I don't think they give two craps about her. Rose is Rosemarie Hathaway, my best friend, I love her with all my heart… to me she's my sister, to the world she will be my guardian. It has to be so; my parents wanted her to guard me. And in all honesty I wanted her to guard me, and so did she. _

_When we ran away from school we did it because Rose feared something bad might happen to me, and honestly I was grateful for the time we got away. Rose kept us alive and well, which proved to me that she would make the best guardian I could ever have, but she left. Only this time she didn't take me with her, this time I was the reason she left._

_You see, I have always envied Rose, yes I know she was my friend, but it wasn't a feeling I could easily control. I love her with all my heart, I wish I could be more like her, but we were polar opposites. She has the body I would pay high money for, she has the confidence I dreamed of. I wanted the attention she got from boys; I wanted to be able to speak back to the teachers like she did._

_I wish I knew then what I know now. If that had been the case all of this could have been avoided, but I was naïve and placed misplaced feelings above the friendship and love I had for her._

_I was in love with Christian; my heart fully belonged to him. Now almost four years later I hate to admit it but I still love him, not as much as I did_ _then but it's definitely still in my heart. I lost Christian too, well I lost everyone. No! Not to death, to my own stupidity._

_Why do I write this? Well, I write this diary because I hope to one day fix all this, and if I can't than I hope that at least this is found and read and understood. I write all of this for you Rose, but if she doesn't get to read it than I hope you understand that I'm not a bad person, I've just made some bad choices._

_Let me start at the begging._

_Saving Dimitri had been my gift to Rose, she suffered so much when he was taken, she went through so much to get him back… the least I could do was try an oldwives tale and attempt to restore him, with my love's help I impaled Dimitri with a spirit infused stake. The level of magic that curse through me and into him was tremendous; it didn't bond him to me like Rose! But there was definitely a connection now._

_I was pulled to him like a moth to a flame, on the first day of him being restored he was very touchy feely with me. He had his hands on me every second he was around me, nothing inappropriate of course, but after a couple of days I realized I craved his touch. The tingling feelings that cursed through my veins was like a shot of ecstasy, his touches remained the same but the reaction I was having to them quickly moved from caring to affection to lust. The fact that he didn't want Rose around just fueled me, I knew she was hurting but if he didn't want her than I could have him, and by God how I wanted him._

_I acknowledged my feelings for him when Christian's touch became nauseating while his left me wet and panting. I wanted him, I craved him._

_A couple of nights ago I kissed him, and he didn't fight me off. His lips on mine were demanding, hungry and I let him take what he needed… his rough hands on my soft skin was like fire on gasoline. Yes I had taken the first step but once he was engaged I let him have control… this time for the first time ever I felt Rose inside my head and I didn't bother to try and block her… instead I let her feel exactly what he was making me feel. Of course feeling her was just my imagination as it wasn't possible for that to happen; only she felt me, not the other way around. But I couldn't let him keep this memory, only I would save it to keep me company when I wanted some release later._

_But that hadn't happened again, he was a bit withdrawn from me now. I knew Rose had gone to see him behind my back and no doubt something had happened between them but I could care less, he was mine now and not hers, he didn't want her._

_I needed to tell Rose though, it wasn't right to keep this from her. I knew she would be upset with me, but I hoped she would get over it enough to be happy for me. Dimitri had devoted himself to me, said he'd do anything I asked of him, I craved his touch even now as I made my way to Rose's room… I was going to go see him after this, hell I almost wanted to take a detour and go get my fix now before I went to see Rose. But my resolve was made; this had to be done now._

_I knocked softly at her door._

_"Hey Lis," she greeted me happily; I doubted she would still feel like that once I told her my reason for being here._

_"I have to talk to you," no point in beating around the bush, I could never block her for too long when the feeling was too strong, I knew she would see it through the bond and I wanted to be the one to deliver the news._

_"Sure Lis, what's up?" here goes nothing._

_"I just wanted to let you know that I'm starting… oh God I'm so sorry Rose, but I have feelings for Dimitri too," suddenly the words being out of my mouth made me realize that maybe it wasn't true, maybe I was mistaking things. _

_"It's only natural Lis, you just saved his soul," she made perfect sense, that was definitely it. But that thought was quickly squashed by my need to feel his touch again, feel his lips on mine again._

_"Not friendship feelings Rose, I mean romantic feelings," more like pure undiluted lust, but I left that part out._

_"Nice joke Lis, ha ha ha funny now what did you came here for?" this made me mad, I knew that the darkness I had been dealing with for the magic I used to save Dimitri had intensified my anger, and I let it… how dare her? What made her think she was the only one that could excite him, well bitch had another thing coming._

_"I'm sorry Rose but I can't help how I feel about him," being this deep in darkness I actually felt her brush our bond to confirm what I had just told her._

_"Lis, why are you telling me this?" well duh, the small crack in her voice was food for the darkness inside me._

_"Because you are my best friend and I wanted to make sure things between us remain okay," a part of me wanted her around just so I could rub being with Dimitri in her face, the other part wanted her near because she had been there all my life._

_"What are you going to do about said feelings?" venom dripped from each world but a flicker of hope crossed her eyes._

_"I'm not going to squash it, I'm just going to let it happen Rose," the murderous look that came upon her face now had me scared, not that I think Rose would kill me, but she could hurt me… and that scared me._

_"How can you do this to me?" she paused, how could I? "To Christian? Oh yeah remember him? Your boyfriend, the one you claim to love so much?" Christian, did I still love him? A small part of me did, but last night having him between my lags had been torture._

_"He already told me he doesn't want you anymore, and Christian can't do for me what he can," she surprised me by slapping me hard across the face, it stung a bit but nothing I would die from._

_"Just leave Lissa, before I do something I don't really want to," I don't know why I was crying, the slap hadn't been that hard, it stung yes but when she turned her back to me now that hurt, making more tears stream down my face._

_"But Rose-_

_"No buts Lissa, or should I say Princess Vasilisa, leave my room you are no longer welcome here," she cut me off._

_"I didn't want it to be this way Rose, I really didn't," I sobbed, leaving for the one place I knew I could get relief._

"_What happened?" concern apparent in his face as I walked into his room._

"_Rose hit me," I forced out more sobs._

"_What? Why?" he asked._

"_Because I told her about us, about how we are together now," I said hugging him._

"_Princess you are with Christian, we can't be together," he soothed his hands over my hair._

"_We can make this work Dimitri, no one needs to know," I eased some compulsion into my words. "You need me to forget her."_

"_Yes maybe we can make this work," I know I can't hold him under but a small bit here and there and he won't even notice, it will all seem like it's his idea._

"_Me and Rose are so different, I'm exactly what you need to forget all about the awful things you did to her," a tiny bit more, but that was all I would risk for today, or he might get suspicious._

"_Forget her," his breath tickled my lips as he leaned in for a kiss, a kiss he may not even remember later as his brain most likely tried to figure out what was real and what was being forced on it._

_Forgive me Rose._

My eyes popped open, and my body shot up before I could register what was happening. Panic became the dominating feeling when I felt something stuck down my throat and needles and wires stuck to my arms, my chest, my heart, my tummy. The beeping somewhere to my right became absolutely deafening as it sped up.

Dimitri, my baby, my father, Mia… shit anyone would do right about now.

"Rose calm down," okay maybe not anyone, Adrian was definitely on my list of people I didn't want to see.

The beeping only got louder as I tried to tell him to get away from me and nothing would come out.

"Sleep Rose," he compelled me, as my lids got heavier I took notice of how much stronger Adrian had gotten with his control over spirit.

I had one of these not long before the battle, but once you've had a spirit dream you don't forget it, even if it had been ten years.

"Alright Adrian, you can come out now," I called out not even bothering to take in my surroundings.

"It's good to have you back little Dhampir," he chuckled as he just appeared sitting on a black leather chair.

"Let me out Adrian," I was in no mood for him.

"I will, just there are a couple of things that we need to talk about before I do, sit," and next to him another chair similar to his appeared.

"I have nothing to talk to you about so I'll just stand if that's alright," crossing my arms in a childish stance I tried to ignore him.

"Okay, even better, that means you'll listen. You've been in a coma for almost a month, when I let you go you need to remain calm or the nurses are going to come in and give you meds that will knock you back out for who knows how long, it took Viktoria almost a week to wake back up.

Second I believe I owe you an apology," I had to cut him off.

"What? Suddenly now you care, because not too long ago you just didn't give a fuck If accepted your apology or not," I snapped.

"Rose, it has been over four years, and I used to be madly in love with you, and I would like to apologize to you for not being your friend when you needed me the most, you don't have to forgive me but I just needed to get that out of my chest, the last time I was here you had just severely upset my wife," he hung his head and deep inside my heart I felt pity for Adrian.

"Lissa is not coming back," real smooth Rose, but that was all I could say.

"We know," he looked up at me, deep sadness in his eyes.

"We?" who was he referring to.

"Abbie and I," I must have looked confused because he proceeded. "Our daughter," he explained.

"You and Lisa's?" suddenly I was dumb.

"Yes, she's going to be one in twelve days," he was definitely a proud daddy as he smiled wide as he mentioned little Abbie.

"She's not even one and she knows her mom isn't coming back," again with the dumbfounded look on my face.

"She's a special little girl, both of her parents are spirit users, I'm going to let you out now, when you wake up I'll call the nurse for you. Lisa has left a 'just in case' box with me to hand to you if something happened to her; come find me when you are ready," when my eyes blinked open my first instinct was to panic, but I needed to see my family, speak to my friends, look for a way to maybe bring Lisa back… not for her, but for Abbie.

Only when my eyes opened I wasn't in the hospital room, and there was no wires attached to me, instead I was somewhere I thought I'd never be in again, I was in Dimitri's room back at court.

"What the fuck?" I was alone in here; if I just woke up from a coma shouldn't there be someone here with me? Dimitri's jacket, his old jacket was hanging on the hook behind the door, so maybe he was in here somewhere. As I tried to get up the door burst open and Dimitri walked in practically supported by Lissa… funny sight because he was taller than her. When I saw him in tears I was out of bed like lightning.

"Dimitri what happened?" I asked but he ignored me.

"Roza, gone," was all he said over and over again.

"I didn't go anywhere, I'm right here," I said to him, but he couldn't hear me, in fact as I waved my hand in front of his face I found out he couldn't see me, neither could Lissa as I tried the same with her.

"Maybe she didn't go, I'll go send her to you," Lissa said firmly as compulsion flowed freely from her.

"When the door opens you will see Rose come in through the door," she forced more compulsion into him.

"You would do that?" he asked as pure vulnerability showed through in his face.

"For you I will do anything," she told him.

She helped him to the bed than walked out of the room; he just sat there looking completely floored and empty.

When Lissa walked back in the room his face lit up, and a sinking feeling dropped into my belly, he was no longer seeing Lissa, he was seeing me.

"Roza, my Roza," he crossed the room and gathered her in his arms as if she was his life line.

"I'm right here baby," she smiled darkly over his shoulder. Apparently her plan had worked.

"Eddie said you left because of me, oh my Roza," when he claimed her lips in a very passionate kiss I wanted to look away, but it was like watching a train wreck, you don't want to look but you just can't look away.

Taking his hand she placed it over her breast. "I'm right here baby, feel me."

Oh the whore, I needed to get away from this as I had a feeling I knew exactly where this was going. The sound of tearing cloth brought my attention back to the two of them, and to my horror he was ripping her clothes as his lips kept possession of her lips.

"Lissa," he shook his head, breaking through her compulsion.

"I'm Rose, your Roza," she doubled her efforts as she grabbed his crotch.

"Yes, my Roza," he succumbed again.

I watched as he took her hard and fast on the bed, and the floor. I watched as she rode him, I watched for what felt like days as they each took completion on each other. My Dimitri had lied to me. That was all that kept creeping into my mind.

He lied, he told me he never had sex with her, and he did. Well technically he had sex with me; no it was a lie, all a lie.

Suddenly the door burst open startling me out of my thoughts.

"Lissa," Christian shouted as he looked at the scene in front of him. Lissa was riding him with her back to Dimitri but facing the door… poor Christian, suddenly I had even more sympathy for him.

"Princess," Dimitri had broken her compulsion and moved his hands to pull her off of him. The door slammed shut all by itself, leaving a dumbfounded Christian outside. This Lissa was a completely different person.

"You will let me finish," she commanded him, and his hands fell limply to the side… his face contorted with pain as she went back to riding him as if nothing had happened. "You'll come with me," her voice still commanding, his face still in agony. Her speed picked up as she reached down to play with his balls.

"Oh yes Dimitri," she moaned as she bounced up and down on him. "That's it baby come for me," his hips buckled and moments later she got off of him.

"You know I have half a mind to let you keep your memories, you fucked me well and proper, touched my body… kissed my lips, had your cock inside my pussy eight different times, I have god knows how many loads of your cum running down my legs and all you can think about is Rose, she fucking left us, get over it I have," her lips were moving, and it was her voice that delivered the words but this wasn't Lissa speaking.

"I don't want these memories, I hurt you," he stared pointedly at the bruises she now had on her milky white thighs and hips.

"I'm not a doll you fool, you didn't hurt me, and you fucked me. And I enjoyed it very much, but your stupid conscience will destroy the man I've come to love so I can't let you keep this memory," taking a deep breath she proceeded. "You will get up, shower, and go to sleep, when you wake up you will have no memories of us fucking, go," she ordered.

This time the compulsion worked fast, he had wanted it; there was no fight in him. He got up and did as she said, leaving us alone.

"Talk about a proper fucking," and with a dark smile on her face she left his room, maybe in search of Christian.

_Forgive me Rose._

"Rose?" Lina's voice startled me a bit, turning my head I looked at her as the whole scenery changed and I was once again in the hospital with the damn tubes and wires.

"Oh my God Rose," she leaned down and kissed my forehead than bolted out of the room.

"What took so long?" Adrian's voice came from somewhere in the room.

Being fully awake with a tube down my throat was taking all my resolve not to panic, immense relief flooded through me to see Lina, Dr. Olendzki and Dimitri ran into my line of sight.

"Miss Hathaway." Dr. Olendzki was surely a welcome sight. Dimitri was leaning on his sister as tears flowed freely down his face and I wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but fresh images of him and Lissa in that same position stung my heart a bit.

"Rose if you can hear me close your eyes," the doctor asked, I complied. "Okay you can open them," so I did.

"Okay, out both of you," she said as she pulled the curtains closed. "Rose, I'm going to unhook all these tubes and wires ok," I nodded as best as I could and she started her work, the worse was the tube down my throat, actually it was fucking horrible and it definitely proved that my gag reflexes were up and running. After some gross reactions all the wires were gone but for a small tube that was delivering small doses of oxygen just under my nose.

"Welcome back Rose," she smiled, "There's some people that want to see you, but a push of this button and I'll make them all go away, I'll be back later to check on you," she opened the curtain nodding her head at Dimitri and Lina and left us.

"Oh Roza," Dimitri grabbed hold of my hands as he placed kisses all over my face but when he reached my mouth I turned my face.

"Let the girl breath brother, I wanna go get Vick but you have to promise me that you'll behave," Lina broke the silence that reigned after I rejected his kiss, I wanted to kiss him but my mouth was gross, so no kissing yet.

"I love you," I managed to croak out through my dry throat.

"I love you too," his smile brightened the room, I missed that smile.

"Why was there wires," I had to stop as speaking was a little uncomfortable, but I needed to ask, "on my belly?"

"You don't know?" he actually annoyed me with that response, if I knew I wouldn't be asking. If I opened my mouth I probably would've snapped so I just shook my head.

"The wires were there to monitor the baby," his stone face didn't reveal any emotions and maybe my hearing was distorted somehow.

"What baby?" damn I wish my voice would just go back to normal, as this frog's croak was also getting on my nerves.

"Our baby?" he responded with another question.

"Get out, what were they really for?" I couldn't be pregnant again, I don't even know how long I've been out, me and Dimitri had sex for the first time since we got back together for the first time like two weeks before this whole fight with the strigoi, no pregnancy would've survived that.

"The baby Roza, you are pregnant, we are having another baby. At first it was mainly the aura that the spirit users could see, no heart beat for the monitors to pick up on but now after the two months you've been out, the baby is developing beautifully," this time he went into full gushing, no mask here.

"Two months? That long?"

"Yes, I have missed you-

"Mommy?" her tiny voice made my heart soar, but she sounded unsure.

"Come Vick, mommy is awake but she's very tired okay," Dimitri motioned for her to go to him.

"I think mommy needs a big kiss to help her get better," someone said from somewhere to my right but I had no eyes for anyone but my little angel right now, she had grown some and her hair was also different.

With the help of Dimitri she climbed up to snuggle right next to me, and just feeling her here close to me was better than any medication anyone could give me. Feeling my baby snuggled next to me, while her father held on to my hand and a new life grew inside me I let my body fall back into oblivion.

A/N: Don't hate me… more will be explained soon.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay, can you say forever and a day! I must apologize for my lack of updates… here is the thing though; this fic is not Lissa friendly… I love all my readers I reaaaaaaaaaaally do, but what happened, happened! I do wish to not lose any of my readers but I can't force you to keep reading, I can only hope you do, I have read books and fics alike that has had a part or two or even more that I didn't like very much but I pushed through anyway. I had given up on this and wasn't even going to finish it, but a review got me to reconsider so here I am rewriting this from scratch as I had erased all the NTEJY files from my computer… hope you guys are still out there…. Oh and if you review, even if as guests just leave me your name so I can properly thank you!

Coping

Rose's P.O.V

I was awake, I was alive. But just barely, three days after I woke up from my coma I had been dismissed from the hospital. One would think life would have gone back to normal, but not for me. I had really only traded beds, I was now a fixture in my room, the only time I left my bed was to use the bathroom… Dimitri was keeping Vicktoria and himself away at my request. Yes, I'm a horrible person, but seeing her only made me think of him, and thinking of him only made me think of that memory and Lissa, and that only led to me dry heaving on the side of the bed, nothing ever came out, as nothing had gone in in I don't know how many days.

Even my tears had dried, my eyes burn as if tears were coming but they didn't come. I had lost my will to live; I couldn't keep going on like this. Couldn't keep going know what Lissa had done to him, to me.

Bodies with different faces kept coming in and out of my room; food was left only to be later taken away by a different face.

"Rose?" a hand waved in front of my face.

My brain wanted to respond but my mouth wasn't functioning.

"Okay girls, intervention time," a different voice echoed and suddenly I was being yanked out of bed.

"Mia you handle the shower, Vika and I will clean this place up a bit," Someone said.

"Sydney, you clean. Vika go get some hot chocolate and some doughnuts," Mia, my brain recognized her voice, was pulling me into the bathroom.

The splash of cold water snapped me out of it. "What are you doing?" I screamed.

"Oh there she is," Mia's smiling face was a bit of a comforting sight.

"What are you doing?" I asked in a softer voice.

"Intervention my friend, you need a shower and some fresh air and we are here to help

"I'm not alright Mia," my voice came out shaken, foreign to my own years.

"I know Rose," but she really didn't know, and suddenly the need to open up to someone made my knees buckle and we both went down.

"Are you okay?" she looked panicked.

"I've seen things," images of Lissa made me shutter as a fresh wave of tears cascaded down my face.

"We've all seen things, the image of you on the ground in puddle of blood hunts my every waking moment," she too was crying.

"When I was in a coma, I saw things… I think I saw Lissa's memories," I was alive and we could deal with her issues later, selfish as it may sound, I needed mine dealt with now.

"Good memories?" she looked almost hopeful.

"I saw Lissa pregnant, I saw Lissa write on her diary, I saw Lissa use compulsion to rape Dimitri," my voice cracked as I finally said out loud what had been hunting my every thought.

"What? No Rose, no no no no, that's- no Rose," she heard me but it was almost like her mind was rejecting the idea.

"It's what I saw Mia, he's told me before that nothing happened between them and to him nothing happened because she made him forget," I explained.

"There has to be a reasonable explanation," she pushed on.

"Besides Lissa being a bitch?" I scoffed.

"When I used to hate the two of you," she started but paused at me snort of laughter.

"I had forgotten about that time," I smiled at her.

"Well, had I remained hating you, I wouldn't be in this awkward situation now," she smiled at me.

"What situation?" I asked, not following her thoughts.

"Me, dick loving person, sitting in a tub… soaking wet with a naked girl," she laughed.

"Shit, this is awkward," sudden awareness filled me and I felt my face heat up with the tale-tale signs of a blush.

Grabbing a towel, I wrapped it around my body while throwing one to Mia so she could dry herself up.

"Where were we?" she asked once we were dried and dressed and sitting on my bed, Sydney had cleaned up my room and left and sitting beside my bed was a box of chocolate donuts and a steaming cup of hot chocolate that Vika must have left here. Not bothering to wonder about the girls' disappearance I tried to recall where we had left off.

"Oh you were telling me something about when you hated us," I said.

"Right, when I used to hate the two of you, well I had my reasons… but there was a reason, and you came to Lissa's defense because you guys were friends… and I… well I was jealous of that, I had no one who would have come to my defense then. I guess the point of this rambling is that there has to be a reason behind all this Rose," Mia finally stopped with her pointless rambling.

Taking a bite out of my donut I thought about what she was saying, a reason behind all this.

"I think Adrian has something for me, from Lissa," I mused out loud.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I don't know, but in my nor here nor there state, I had a spirit dream and he told she had left me something," I told her.

"And you haven't one to get it why again?" she snapped at me.

I figured that telling her that I had been stuck in this bed was a moot point so I just glared at her.

"Listen if you need a friend who is going to come in here and tell you that everything is going to be alright and that nothing has changed, I will go and get Eddie for you. I'm not that friend, because honestly right now that is not what you need to hear. You are pregnant, this baby needs you to bounce back and retake control of your life… besides that you have a three year old that really needs her mommy right now and also that hunk of a Russian you claim to love, needs you also. Fuck I need you Rose, Eddie does too and even Kirova is feeling a little bit of guilt for the state you are in; Please Rose, shake it off! I know you can do it," she was panting by the time she finished and so was I as each truth she spoke hit me like a slap across the face. Each slap (word) knocking some sense into me. As if reminded of my current state, I dropped my hands to lay them over my still flat stomach, ignoring the donuts that went rolling somewhere on my now clean floor.

"I'm pregnant again," I repeated the words almost dumbly.

"Yes, you are! And you better start taking better care of my godchild," she smiled at me. Without thinking my actions through I threw my arms around her which almost sent both of us crashing to the ground.

"Thank you Mia," I spoke when I pulled away from her.

"No need to thank me, go find Adrian," and without another word she got up and left the room, I could've sworn I saw tears fighting to fall as she exited but that must have just been my imagination.

Inhaling deeply I got up and went in search of Adrian, no point in procrastinating, it needed to be done.

"I was wondering when you would come around," was how he greeted me.

"You could've come to me," I snapped.

"I could have yes, but knowing you like I do, I know that you wouldn't accept until you were ready, and now you are. Wait here," he turned leaving me stunned.

Before too long he was back holding a royal looking box, the box was beautiful and yet it frightened me.

"I'm not really sure of what exactly is in here, some things I was a part of but not everything. I'm not going to sit here and beg for your forgiveness, because quite frankly I have a different life now… a daughter that needs me now more than ever, and I won't stop or change my routine because of you, take this," he gave me the box and went back to sit by the window, I was clearly dismissed.

Was there something I should say here? But my heart, though saddened, didn't have anything to say to him just yet, clutching the box to my chest I left his room.

Making it to my room with only minor interruptions I locked the door behind me and sat on my bed crossing my legs Indian style I stared at the box before me for a long while. Finally after I don't know how many minutes I removed the lid of the offensive thing, the moment the lid was off I was hit with a smell that brought good memories… memories of a much more innocent time, but that was not here nor there and that time was long gone; the only memories that smell brought now was of heartbreak and tears.

Wiping some uninvited tears from my eyes I picked up the envelope that sat on top, ripping it open I read the words.

_Hey Rose,_

_If you are actually the one reading this, and not me again for the millionth time, what I feared the most has come to pass!_

_You see, when I found out I was pregnant I went to see the seer, and she read my cards for me… I know you don't believe this stuff but hey she was right this time as I am really dead._

_When Adrian came back to me, he came back with a solution to darkness… if the two of us, spirit users, had a baby our darkness problems would be over. But nothing is ever this simple, is it?_

_Well, we tried for a while but it took a while, anyway on my visit to the seer she told me that I wouldn't see my daughter's first birthday, and if I tried to avoid my faith worse things would happen! I wish that by this day you will have forgiven me and perhaps can look after her every once in a while. There are things in here that I'm not proud of, I know I have done some horrible things to you and I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm asking for it anyway. Forgive me Rose?_

"Yeah well, fat chance in hell, which is where I hope you are by the way," yeah I know the words might sound harsh and even spiteful but it is how I feel.

'How could you even ask for forgiveness you rotting bitch?' and this thought had me laughing at the sheer double meaning on it. Ok maybe I have lost my mind. Trying to clear my mind of unwanted and unrequired thoughts I decided to go through the box. Inside I found the diary I had 'dreamed' of; also there were some pictures of Lissa and I… again with the innocent times, more envelopes with numbers on them but right now I was really interested in the diary, as if my 'dreams' had been memories this will prove it… or hopefully disprove it.

Cracking it open I did what I had done so many times before, I dove in to Lissa's thoughts.

_**So many stories to tell, will there be enough time to tell it all?**_

Was written across the very first page.

_**Dear diary seems a bit silly at my age, I am way beyond the 'dear diary a boy broke my heart' faze, but I guess lots of things need to be said and most people just don't want to hear it. Being a Moroi you don't get to pick and choose what element you develop more power over… I remember when I was a kid I wanted to master Air, just to make my hair move the way those models' hair move in their photo-shoots. But it wasn't the case, and though rare, I mastered Spirit… a delicate yet dangerous**_

"Mamma?" her little timid voice broke me from the trance I had been in.

I looked up to see my daughter looking up at me with her big brown eyes, seconds later _he _also came in to my room.

"I'm sorry Roza, she got away from me," he apologized, startled by the hurt stitched into every word he said.

'_They came first!' _the vow I had made to myself long ago screamed loudly in my brain, the meaning of it only I knew, 'they' meaning Dimitri and my daughter.

"Come here baby," I called to her, choosing to ignore his apology for now, if anything I owed him an apology. Her eyes grew impossibly larger as she smiled and climbed onto the bed with me.

"You all betta mamma," her joy evident in her words.

"Almost sweetheart," desperate for the need of contact I hugged her tiny form to me, the smell of her shampoo doing wonders to my frail nerves.

"Are we gonna be a family again mamma?" She asked as she pushed me away a little.

"We never stopped being a family Vick, mommy was just sick," as I spoke my eyes found his, a part of me hoping that he hadn't given up on me completely. "Right daddy?" even though I was afraid of his answer, the question slipped out of my lips before I could restrain it.

"Right," he spoke out loud for her sake and proceeded to mouth 'we need to talk' to me. Nodding my head, I allowed him to pick her up.

"Let's go Vick, grandma Olena is waiting for us," he smiled, but his eyes told a different story.

"But daddy I wanna stay with mamma," she whined.

"Grandma is waiting with grilled-cheese," his smile still in place, still not reaching his eyes.

"Not fair," she whined again, but didn't put up a fight; even she knew he had fought dirty with that last statement.

"Good-bye Roza," this time he spared me no fake smile.

"Come back later?" I asked.

"Perhaps," was his parting words to me.


End file.
